We’ve got a gear to grind
TOP Gear may never be the same again.
As Jeremy Clarkson's status as one of television's most lauded figures came to a halt earlier this week, it was as though World War III had broken out.
The most ardent of car enthusiasts boycotted the ultimate car enthusiast show.
Fans - grown men, at that - were crying in the streets.
And I - err - well, I cared about as little as my 2001 Holden Astra with significant hail damage and a cracked windscreen would suggest I care about cars.
That said, it was near impossible to escape the media hurricane that swept all the way from the northern hemisphere this week, as the Jeremy Clarkson empire fell to its knees.
And, come to that, so did the producer he punched.
My only issue is this: why was there such an uproar over his sacking?
Sure, he's a popular guy.
I mean, millions upon millions of viewers tune in each week to watch this guy talk about something as mundanely mechanical as a car, so he must have been doing something right.
But just like the Australian sporting landscape spared the reputations of the likes of Shane Warne, Andrew Johns and, more recently, Karmichael Hunt due to their popularity, the world just doesn't see the sense in getting rid of the charismatic Top Gear frontman.
Now, don't get me wrong.
When people stuff up, it doesn't need to tarnish their name forever.
But when people stuff up, we also don't need to start a prayer circle for them.
An online petition to be put to the BBC in order to get Clarkson back on the air has already gone close to 250,000 signatures.
Does anyone else see how ridiculous this is?
If any other person had punched someone in the workplace, firing the aggressor would be a no-brainer.
Yet, once again, due to the popularity of the puncher in question, we decide that he is in fact the one hard done by here.
Yes. They're right.
We should all feel sorry for Jeremy Clarkson ... for punching someone in the face!
Heck, while we're at it, let's start a petition for any sexual offenders in the office to be reinstated.
Then we can push for workplace cocaine dealers to be given promotions.
The possibilities are endless!
If I had punched my employer, not only would I lose my job, but quite possibly a few of my facial features as well.
The fact of the matter is: Jeremy Clarkson punched his boss. What exactly did the man expect?
A slap on the wrist, but still a handsome pay cheque? A punch in return, but still a handsome pay cheque? Or perhaps the "eternal respect" that most thugs who resort to violence subsequently expect from their victims …before still getting that handsome pay cheque?
Top Gear really may never be the same again.
But if that saves them the hassle of that handsome pay cheque, another punch and the type of fans who obviously think both of those things are fine, I'm fairly sure the producers would be okay with that.