Women are entering the sex work industry without realising it, says Samantha X. Picture: Glenn Hampson
Women are entering the sex work industry without realising it, says Samantha X. Picture: Glenn Hampson

Sugar babies aren’t as sweet as men think

As a high class escort, I have to say I am pretty open minded.

I've had clients ask to me wear red latex, bark like a Jack Russell (yes they specified the dog breed) and kick them with my stilettos.

I've had men sob on my shoulder, confess to me things they "would never tell anyone else" and I've seen and done plenty of things I am certainly not going to name here. But there is one thing I draw the line at, and that is being someone's "sugar babe".

MORE FROM SAMANTHA X: The real reason men hire me as an escort

Just google "sugar babes" and websites aplenty pop up on how to snare a millionaire. The only criteria is you need to be a sugar babe is to be an attractive female. The only criteria men wanting a sugar babe needs is money, and lots of it. Sounds like a typical marriage in the eastern suburbs, right? Sadly, it's not that simple. Here's why.

It's sex work.

Like it or lump it, selling your time and body to a man in exchange for money is sex work. I've heard a few "sugar babes" squeal in horror at being labelled sex workers, but sorry to break it to you girls, welcome to the club. And as for the men who say they "would never hire a hooker" yet "date" a sugar babe? Live in your deluded little land sure, but you are the client, and she is the sex worker. If you can't see that, you need glasses.

More and more young women in university are becoming Sugar Babies. Picture: Seeking Arrangement
More and more young women in university are becoming Sugar Babies. Picture: Seeking Arrangement

Women get ripped off.

As an escort, I have set fees. I charge a lot of money because it keeps me exclusive and not everyone can afford me. I've heard of women who spend an awful lot of time - not including emotional time - with their sugar daddies and get a lot of promises and a handful of cash once in a while. In other words: unless you are a pro at the sugar game (no pun intended), men will take advantage. The reason they don't want to book an escort is because they're probably too stingy. If you want to be a sugar babe: don't sell yourself short.

MORE FROM SAMANTHA X: Why I'd take a Melbourne bloke over a Sydney dud any day

It's too much admin.

The brilliant thing about being an escort is that (most) clients respect your boundaries. The phone is a tool for merely making or changing an appointment. There are no endless text conversations, no sexting, no ego to constantly stroke, no one bothering you when you're watching Married At First Sight.

I've had young women show me the endless pitiful messages their sugar daddies send them. It beggars belief that men aged 55 and up send sad face emojis if they don't get a reply in three seconds.

An escort would shut this down faster than you can say "Does your wife know …" My tip: Knowing your boundaries isn't just physical. Install clear emotional boundaries or else you will either end up throwing your phone at the TV (or his wrinkly head).

In a sugar daddy/baby relationship, the lines are often blurred. Picture: Glenn Hampson
In a sugar daddy/baby relationship, the lines are often blurred. Picture: Glenn Hampson

Men get ripped off too.

I had a client years ago who was being blackmailed by his sugar babe. She got nasty when he tried to end it and her mother happened to live in the same street as him and his wife and three kids.

Needless to say it cost him a lot of money to shut her up. I'm not saying there aren't shady escorts out there, but someone who does this as a profession is more likely to be professional, rather than someone who is doing this to pay for a new set of boobs.

MORE FROM SAMANTHA X: The five secrets your husband tells an escort

Safety first.

A lot of young girls are on these websites to pay for university etc., and there are a lot of predatory men out there. I started escorting at the age of 37, but if you are going to sell your body and time at the age of 21 or younger, for God's sake, be very, very careful about who you meet.

Do your research and find out as much as you can about them. As escorts, we have laws to protect us, we have establishments we can work in, we have a whole industry behind us. Quite often you are alone, with no one to talk to. Plus, maturity and life experience is not just worth its weight in gold in dealing with men, but it could also save your life. Said with love: Please take care.

Samantha X is an escort, author and madam.



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