Menu
Lifestyle

Five ways to be more intimate in your relationship

Q: We used to make love at least every other day, then it dropped to once a week and now it seems like we barely do it once a month.

We both miss it, but we have lots going on and making time for sex has fallen by the wayside for a multitude of reasons.

When we don't have time for sex, how can we still feel close and connected?

Is there anything that can make us feel like a couple, the way sex does?

A: Ah the blissful morning after making love: you're smiling, you have a spring in your step, you sneak meaningful, secret glances with your lover, your partner feels more like your seductive lover than your significant other and/or co-parent, you can't keep your hands off each other, and you're sure the sun is brighter and birds are chirping louder because all is good and sweet in the world and in your life - oh happy day.

Post-sex contentment hits every person differently, but it is true that after lovemaking, couples feel more connected, more attuned to each other's needs, communicate more effectively, and the body chemicals flooding through one's veins and brain is enough to make one feel, well, very loved up.

But some couples don't have as much time for lovemaking as they would like.

So they may miss out on this blissful morning after glow.

Some couples believe that if they don't have time for sex, they don't have time for much else together, either, so intimate shared time becomes a luxury, or left to be experienced infrequently and rarely in a couple's life.

But it doesn't have to be. Couples who feel they don't have time for sex, or are just too tired or too busy with other competing important priorities don't have to neglect their intimacy altogether.

Couples can certainly feel bonded, giddy and loved up through other means, not only sex.

Yes, sex is a powerful magnet between partners, but if you're strapped for time, energy or have other reasons you can't get enough sexy time together (perhaps one person travels or you work varied hours from one another or have small children or others living with you etc), there are other ways to get your gooey loving exciting thrilling feelings more often.

1. Dance. Hold your partner close. Next time your partner is in the same room and you go to open a social media app on your smartphone, stop, and use the minutes you would have spent swiping a screen with your thumb instead swaying to a song on one of your music apps with your lovee.

2. Whenever you are out together, hold hands. Public displays of affection make you feel close, and make you proud to be together as a couple. Take every moment, no matter how small, to connect and to remind yourselves that you choose each other, every day.

3. Laugh. Lots of people are only witty and entertaining to strangers or company outside their relationship and family. Be funny. Find humour in life together. Reminisce about shared good times and hilarious memories. Build your foundation in part by holding on to the good things that keep you together and make the ride together worthwhile. Feeling light and laughing together is an important part of your shared life together.

4. Have a conversation, just the two of you, every day. Okay so you may not have time for sex, but you always have time to talk, about something interesting or intimate, for at least 10 minutes, whether it's on the phone or in person. You're adults who share a connection and fell in love with each other's minds as well as bodies. Don't forget to nurture that!

5. Shower together. Yes, it might lead to a quickie. But either way, it's sensual couple time together, and it's skin on skin contact and you may even squeeze in a conversation too!

Topics:  columns dating love marriage opinion sex



Giggles seen but still not back home

Giggles has been spotted but not yet found.

Have you seen this parrot around?

premium_icon Three little words, four days of retail pain

Ayr local Kristy Wassmuth with daughters Emilee, 5, and Briella, 7, are unhappy Coles in Ayr will be closed over the Easter long weekend. Picture: Zak Simmonds

Regional towns hit by 'blockbuster stuff-up'

JUST IN: Dredging of port gets underway

AERIAL PHOTOS: Stock Photos of Bundaberg Region Port Bundaberg.

Build-up has hindered vessels in the river

Local Partners

Facebook ‘birth’ post: ‘Disturbing and creepy’

A WOMAN who posted her ‘birth photos’ on Facebook has divided the internet with the images.

Australian roads ‘not ready’ for driverless cars

Mercedes-Benz is trialling autonomous vehicles in Australia. Picture: Joshua Dowling.

Report reveals roads need infrastructure improvements.

premium_icon Jacinda Ardern’s news is a win for men

New Zealand's Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern (C) speaks during the meeting with Japan's PM Abe in Da Nang, Vietnam on Nov. 10, 2017.

JACDINA Ardern is expecting a baby in the middle of year.

Boy cliff jumps, rides home with fractured back

Boy fractures back after cliff jumping in Moorooduc quarry. Picture: 3AW

A 12-year-old daredevil defied his mother’s warning by jumping from a 20m cliff

Hyundai’s coming Ioniq makes a power point

The new Hyundai Ioniq will arrive mid-year in Australia.

Here comes Hyundai's answer to the Toyota Prius.

Revealed: Whincup’s new Red Bull wheels

Jamie Whincup gives a sneak peak of his new Holden ZB Red Bull.

First look at Jamie Whincup’s new Red Bull Racing ZB Commodore

New cancer screening test set to save lives

The new blood test will help identify eight types of early-stage cancer. Picture:   Khuloud T. Al-Jamal & Izzat Suffian

A NEW blood test is set to save millions of livee