Mum slammed for sex talk with 12-year-old son
A MOTHER has been slammed in an online parenting forum for answering a personal question that her son had asked her about her sex life.
Posting in UK parenting forum, Mumsnet, the woman recounted the conversation that had taken place between her and her son, who is 12 years old.
"Mum this is kind of a weird question and I don't know about asking it," the boy began.
The mother responded by asking what the question was - and the boy came right out with it.
"How often do you and dad have sex?"
The woman says that she double checked, asking her son if he was sure he really wanted to know, to which he replied 'yes'.
So she answered him openly and honestly.
"Once or twice a week I guess," she said.
And then her son responded with what seems to be maybe a bit of embarrassment with a touch of humour to end the conversation.
He said, "Oh. Now NEVER say that again."
She went on to say how she encouraged her son to ask her any questions he felt curious about, leaving the lines of communication open and the ball in his court. Many would call this "good parenting" but it seems that others would not.
People instantly posted responses suggesting that the woman should not have discussed her sex life with her son.
"I would have told him it wasn't his business," wrote one person.
"I'm happy to answer general questions but I don't know about ones so personal," added another.
And the flow of negativity continued.
"Questions like that are inappropriate and answering them is even more inappropriate!"
"It is inappropriate for anyone to inquire about your sex life, unless it's a HCP. Be that your parents, children or friends. Some things just are private."
"Why didn't you tell him that was private he is 12 do you really think he doesn't know that is a really cheeky question?"
"Very inappropriate question. No matter the age!"
"It's not funny, or 'mortifying'. It's concerning. You should not have answered."
"WTH! I would have said, 'That is none of your business. That is a very inappropriate question'!"
One person recalled wondering a lot of things about her own parents but not being able to ask. "When I was learning about sex I wondered a lot about things like this and how much people were having sex. I'd say it's a credit to you that he feels comfortable to ask you the question, even if he didn't."
Another wrote, "Tbh he asked and you felt OK in answering. It's not as if you casually mentioned it to the cashier at Tesco or something."
"At least your son knows his parents have a good relationship. I don't think it's that bad that you told him. I'm just impressed you do it so much!" said another.
Someone else complemented the mother on the way she handled it, saying that her son is likely realising that she is not just a mother, but a woman, adding that it is "better for him to have a realistic concept of sex rather than see porn as the norm."
And one told the original poster to ignore the comments that were not supportive as those were unhelpful. "You were open, honest and it's an absolute credit that your little boy feels comfortable enough to talk to you. It's not too late to have the 'boundary' talk. Ya doing a great job generally, I can tell. Put it under the rug or have another talk but DO NOT feel guilty," they wrote.
And another with words of wisdom, "I think it's an amazing credit to you he asked and also that you checked first and then answered. What's the big secret? Adults have loving sex. Bravo."
A few were just shocked at the response.
"I'm impressed with once or twice a week!" wrote one.
And another simply wrote, "A WEEK?!"