MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - NewsWire Photos MARCH 9 2021: For lease signs on an empty office space in Melbourne CBD. Research says 110,000 jobs will go across the country this month as JobKeeper comes to an end. Picture: NCA NewsWire / David Geraghty
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - NewsWire Photos MARCH 9 2021: For lease signs on an empty office space in Melbourne CBD. Research says 110,000 jobs will go across the country this month as JobKeeper comes to an end. Picture: NCA NewsWire / David Geraghty

MAX CRUS: Scotty from marketing is on fire

It costs a bomb to be poor.

Geez, Scotty from marketing is on fire… no, no, sorry, not like the bushfires. No, he’s devised a genius rescue of the ailing tourism industry when he stops JobKeeper – hand out half-price airline tickets to Queensland.

Yoohoo!

Well, unless you’re a Queenslander, or heat, humidity, mozzies, and killer jellyfish aren’t really your thing, or if a half-price ticket isn’t going to help unless Scotty also halves your electricity bill and Centrelink doesn’t mind you going on hol’s instead of applying for 50 jobs a day.

Hey, hang on. Why not get those bathroom renos done while you’re away? Scotty is still giving away $25 big ones to anyone spending six times that on the fix up. How egalitarian is Scotty?

Battlers in Rooty Hill are falling over themselves to grab that cash and support the building industry, whether it needs it or not.

Government largesse knows no bounds.

Want cheaper electricity? Get a government solar subsidy and your electricity bills will all but disappear. All you need is some cash, like $5k-ish. How good is that?

Sick of paying exorbitant prices for petrol? Just buy a hybrid or electric vehicle. How hard can that be?

Okay, the government isn’t helping there, but again, a bit of loose dosh will do it. Okay, a fair bit of loose dosh, but still an option.

And if you get a speeding fine because, unbeknown to Scotty, those electric vehicles have more grunt than a Jetts Gym on a Saturday morning, big whoop. What’s a $500 fine when you just splurged $100k on a Tesla?

Meanwhile anyone who lost their job during covid - while Harvey Norman’s dividends skyrocketed from Scotty’s handouts - gets an extra $3.57 per day, and that 57 cents is important, that’s 16 per cent of the increase! Almost the same percentage Gerry Harvey’s personal wealth rose during covid.

So, to the less well-off in Australia, suck it up, electricity prices will come down eventually, Scotty said so, and you can always watch Queensland on the telly. Umm, BTW turn those lights off.

Meanwhile, get in that gas guzzling old bomb you drive and find a better job.

Okay, I’m off to the bottlo to buy a dozen, then they give you one for free! How good is that?

Struth, you wouldn’t be poor for quids would ya’?

Tim Adams Clare Valley The Fergus Grenache Tempranillo Malbec, 2016, $25: Every vintage I think “should save this for our friend Fergus”. Sorry, again, Fergus. 9.3/10.

Tim Adams Clare Valley Pinot Gris 2020, $24: Many approach pinot gris with the same enthusiasm as a tweet from Scotty from Marketing, but this is easily as good as one from a lowly Chinese diplomat! Perfect with a ‘bit a’ dumpling. 9.4/10.

Tim Adams Clare Valley Pinot Gris 2020
Tim Adams Clare Valley Pinot Gris 2020

Cassegrain (Central Ranges) Shiraz, 2019, $26: Simple stylish label reflects an equally simple stylish wine, characterful yet casual. 9.2/10.

Cassegrain (Central Ranges and Rylestone) Reserve Pinot Noir, 2019, $50: Wow, Rylstone is now a destination not only for travellers but for wine, and rightly so. Perfect gear for dumplings at 29 Nine 99 Yum Cha and Tea House, or The French Laundry, El Bulli or Tetsuya’s. 9.5/10.

Di Giorgio Family Kongorong Riesling 2019, $20: Kongorong sounds like a great name for a footy club…the Kongorong Koalas. Fans could sip this very egalitarian wine on the sidelines. 9.1/10.

Di Giorgio Family Coonawarra Blanc de Blanc Traditional Method, 2017, $35: Yes! A bubbly that doesn’t pretentiously change Traditional Method to French to sound poshly Champagnish. Deliciously Aussie. 9.4/10.

Di Giorgio Family Coonawarra Blanc de Blanc Traditional Method, 2017
Di Giorgio Family Coonawarra Blanc de Blanc Traditional Method, 2017


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