Magistrate, I've been a jerk
THERE'S only one thing more embarrassing than being caught masturbating on camera - and that's having police arrest you for it.
Matters get even stickier when you can't remember a thing.
Imagine Adam Christopher Bland's surprise when he was hauled into the copshop and shown CCTV footage of himself breaking into a warehouse and then masturbating on the front step.
Sniggers rippled through Gladstone Magistrate Court yesterday when Bland pleaded guilty, but maintained his recollection of the October 21 events is nil.
"I'd been out drinking with friends that night and I don't remember a thing," Bland told Magistrate Russell Warfield.
"If police hadn't come to interview me I'd have no idea it happened."
Bland was co-operative with police when they attended his house on October 28 and voluntarily participated in a police interview.
Police showed security camera footage of Bland kicking in the storage warehouse door before proceeding to sit on the front step and masturbate.
Needless to say, Bland was shocked.
Despite the fact he couldn't remember committing the offences, he admitted that the man caught on camera was definitely him.
Mr Warfield expressed concern that Bland had no recollection of the events.
"I'm going to take into account that these actions were caught on camera and not directly in front of anybody," he said.
"But the fact you have little or no recollection is of some concern. It means you were significantly affected by alcohol and/or drugs and that's an issue you may need to address."
Bland was ordered to pay $834 to repair the door and a further $800 for committing the offences.