I'm over the flag debate, let's get rid of the darn thing
IT'S the reason I want to wrap pillows around my ears and hide in a closet every single Australia Day.
The flag debate is so tiresome it just makes me want to sob the melody of Advance Australia Fair while I'm face down in my lammies and pav, wishing we had something more important to talk about.
But alas, every single Australia Day someone says the "F" word (flag, that is) and it all begins again.
The republicans don't like the current flag, the monarchists won't like a new flag, there's literally no way to win the flag war and no way my mind will be spared from the same old annual debate.
All I'm trying to say is that any flag we might change to is going to get up someone's nose somewhere, unless we can work on an ultra modern concept where we just don't have a flag.
Instead of upsetting somone somewhere with a few colours and shapes on a bit of material, why don't we name the new flag "_____".
The new flag will feature "_____" and "_____" on a background of "_____".
That way everyone can be pleased and we won't have to have a debate about changing the flag because there will be nothing to change.
Our flag poles would soar into the sky with nothing more than an imaginary representation of our nationhood at the very top.
Our athletes can blend in wherever they are because they'll be 100% politically correct and flag-free.
Perhaps all nations could someday take up the flag-free challenge.
I admit up until this point, this this article has mostly been tongue-in-cheek because the flag debate is getting more and more taxing each year (however I'd never joke about something as serious as Kanye West in the Hottest 100).
In all seriousness, at the end of the day, it shouldn't matter what's on our flag.
We're a nation made up of hundreds of nations and cultures which all blend to create our "Australian-ness", and however we look at it, our flag is part of our history.
We all need to get off the idea that changing or not changing the flag is going to progress us as a nation.
Want a better country?
Go out, today, and do something kind or nice for someone.
We're arguing over semiotics while ignoring the very real issues in our society.
Now that's un-Australian.
Crystal Jones is the online editor for the Bundaberg NewsMail.