Give him all your love but keep some of your money
DO YOU have a little on the side? A little something, something? I’m talking about money.
I’m assuming that as mums, most of us manage the bills and finances but if you don’t, do you know where your money is going? And do you keep a little on the side for yourself?
While I have never been burnt by an STD and by that I mean “sexually transmitted debt”, it was the one lesson I have always heeded after my best friend at 21 was left with a $30,000 credit card debt by her beloved could-do-no-wrong boyfriend (now ex).
She, first of all, had no idea of the debt, but second of all, never even considered putting money aside for herself. Most women don’t. All their money went to a joint account. She had no account of her own.
So when he left, he left her with a broken heart, a baby, no money and $30,000 of credit card debt, earning 16% interest, all at 21 years of age. It took her six years to pay it off. She has no home of her own and her credit rating will never be the same.
My sister-in-law has just opened an account after she asked her husband about their finances and her husband couldn’t explain where all their money was going or gone. Thousands of dollars has just gone.
Now I love my husband, I trust my husband but even I have an account. It’s online, doesn’t have a fortune in it, but it’s there as a safety net. It’s enough to get me and my boys back to my parents.
Forgive the analogy but a marriage, a relationship, is a business agreement based on love and trust. A partner of any good business partnership wouldn’t just leave all the details of the finances to one member of the partnership.
It goes the same for a marriage. If there is a problem with you having an account, well encourage him to open one of his own but really, should there be a problem? It’s not like you are bank loading to run away to Paris.