A case of too much information
AHHHH the information age. It can be a great thing. We have more information at our fingertips than ever before.
But you know what the worst information overload is? When you are a parent.
It is the biggest double-edge sword I have ever come accross.
When I had my first baby, I was constantly on parenting websites, social media pages and forum soaking in all the info I could about other mums and what worked and didn't work for them in certain situations. I asked questions and got answers. You have the worlds biggest parenting group at your disposal.
The flipside is that you have researches and scientists and often people with no qualifications releasing report after report, study after study, opinion after opinion about what is best for our kids.
Their clothes, food, sleep, toys, behaviour - you name it and there are dozens of contradictory reports about it.
I take most of it with a grain of salt and devour stuff I think may have merit.
I am reading lots at the moment about preservatives and addititives in our food and how they affect children's behaviour - there is lots on that.
But one new study released this week really made my heart sink. That sending kids to time out could be as bad as spanking them.
I am the first to admit there is not much I know about parenting.
The one thing I thought I knew, was then when it comes to discipline you do time out or the naughty chair as it is in our house.
We never had that when I was growing up. Smack on the bum, yep that is what we go.
And while I understand that it was accepted back then, to me it seems to be a complete consensus that smacking is not the way to go nowadays.
Don't get me wrong, I have smaked my kids and I don't believe that a time out will do anything for my 1-yr-old.
He needs a good smack on the hand as he reaches to touch the oven or repeatedly touches something he is not supposed to.
I do feel that smacking has its place. But I also feel that it doesn't work as children get older as a form of punishment.
We were in the habit of smacking my older child, for the reasons above, until he began to understand what was going on.
When he hit me one day and said "smack mummy, mummy naughty," I knew that we needed another way to show him and help him understand what was good behaviour and what wasn't.
This was also after an incident when I smacked him out of my own frustration (and fear of what he had done) without even considering an alternative.
So we turned to the naughty chair. And he understood perfectly. We never had to take him back over and over until he stayed put - he aways just did.
I love the naughty chair because we can send him there for behaviour we don't like, but that isn't actually terrible (ie jumping on the couch etc).
Now we have turned to it for disobedience and defiance as that is the behaviour we are coming up against as we approach three years old.
So here we are, rocking the most acceptable form of discipline and punishment thinking we are doing the right thing when bam - new study and bad parenting.
YOu think you are doing the right thing and the best thing by your child to have someone go and do brain scans to prove that you aren't.
As parents you kind of have to resign yourself to the fact that you can't win, no matter what path you choose.
And let's face it, no matter what life is not always going to be kind.
All I can do is smother them in love and kisses and cuddles and make sure they know how loved they are.
I am sure someone has done a study on that too and about how too much parently love is damaging.
But that is one report I don't care to read.