Frowning on monobrows

Venus and Mars are Zane Jackson and Fallon Hudson.

Related links

• No good being a bad boy
• Women on top in relationships
• Fashion police, pullover!
• Reality of remote control
• Charlie Sheen vows no more children
• Baldwin urges Sheen to beg for job
• Hair-raising gender difference
• Footy season a widow-maker
• Charlie Sheen to perform in Haiti
• A difficult subject, period
• Sheen making music with Snoop Dogg
• Honesty not best for McFaddens
• Royal wedding a royal pain
• High heels a fashion deathtrap
• Free pass to the dog house
• Too many wearing short shorts
• Vanity unfair for Botox kids
• Arnie terminates own marriage
• Poisonous pick-up line peril
• Sulks over smiles: survey

Venus is Fallon Hudson

The only time the monobrow worked for a man was Bert from Sesame Street.

Maybe it was because he was always cranky, but somehow he knew how to work the power of the long brow.

Or maybe, even though he was a Muppet, he was a man who didn't really care about picking up a pair of tweezers.

When it comes to excess hair, men are more than happy to tell a woman they need to get rid of hair that grows in other regions other than the follicles on our heads.

For years women have been plucking, waxing, shaving and trimming away hair for aesthetics.

That's why so many women visit Brazil, somewhere not even the bravest man would think of travelling to.

When it comes to hair removal, men are weak.

There is no way they could continually rip hair from their bodies - hence why there are monobrows.

Hell, I think I would prefer to see a man with naturally formed eyebrows, than drawn on because he overloaded on shaving cream and razor blades.

The only time I believe men would 'fix' their eyebrows would be if they were at a buck's night and had one too many rums and thought it would be hilarious to shave them right off.

Mars is Zane Jackson

Touch the point of your nose. Now slide your finger up the ridge in a straight line to your forehead.

If you happen to touch eyebrow hairs along the way, I hate to say it, but you have committed a heinous crime.

In this day and age there is no excuse for a monobrow.

It amazes me that in our modern times, where mirrors and reflective surfaces are plentiful, that people can still walk around with something on their forehead that resembles a conga line of big hairy caterpillars.

It's not like I'm advocating us blokes become metrosexuals and take to waxing our faces like in the same way Charlie Sheen takes to illicit substances.

No. All I'm saying is grab your razor, even if it's your blunt two-dollar job with one blunted blade, and clear a bit of space.

It's easy. Plus it can be squeezed into a small enough window of time that it does not officially become “manscaping”, that metrosexual habit us regular guys want to avoid.

What's the only thing worse than a bloke with a monobrow? The same guy having a wife or a girlfriend.

Take a stand! How the hell can you walk around with a bloke who looks like that?

Stealing a catch phrase from a charity event is lame, but it just fits so right: be brave and shave. Please!