Lifestyle

Five tips on being your very own superwoman

WOMEN often complain about the pressure to be Superwoman: super wife, super mum, best friend, corporate feminist smashing the glass ceiling and then turn around and wonder why they're not happy and want to squish down that nagging voice that says it might not be possible to have it all.

Here are five top tips for happiness for the superwoman in your life - whether that's you, your partner, your daughter or your mum:

Stop over scheduling

Your kids do not need to attend every type of class every week and every term.

Let them be guided by their own interests and allow them free time to explore.

Spending your time running between more than two activities per week per child will only lead to burn out - yours and theirs.

Yes, art and music and sports and dance and karate are all important fundamentals.

No, they don't all have to be learned at once every week so you are all exhausted.

Super mum also means watching your kids play in the dirt in the yard while you have a cup of tea.

Limit cleaning and tidying

If you define being a super mum and super wife by keeping a neat and sanitised house, make sure you put a limit on how much time you actually devote to this domestic duty.

I'm not saying don't clean - but I am saying don't sacrifice canoodling time with your partner or an extra bedtime story with your children because you can't stand the dirty dishes sitting in the sink.

Let go of the little things and remember to focus on what's important - your lover and your family.

The house can get cleaned tomorrow (but, if you say this more than six times in a row you'll have a big cleaning job ahead of you rather than a manageable one. Be smart with your moderation and your time. Or better yet, make cleaning a family activity).

You'll fight less - splitting domestic duties remains one of the "top five" couples argue about.

Stop watching TV

People spend anywhere from 3-7 plus hours a day in front of the TV.

Choose two programs right now that you can live without and plan something fun to do in that time slot instead.

Have a bath with your partner. Play a game with your kids.

Yes, everyone needs their downtime, but if we complain about exhaustion and being time poor, the extra hours spent in front of the TV is the first place to look when regaining balance in your life and schedule.

Judge the sexy side of your relationship not by how much sex you're having but by how much touch you both enjoy with each other

Yes, some physical advances will lead to sex - that's how we initiate our interest and indicate desire.

But if you're caught up in numbers of twice a week, three times a week and feel pressure to keep that going, it will backfire on your libido.

If you feel connected, if you touch to signal and reinforce that connection at least once a day then that's a super relationship between a super man and super woman.

Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. The Joneses don't exist.

Embrace the imperfections of your life

Did you think "happily every after" meant a picture perfect life? In the era of the glossy Facebook life where everyone posts super wonderful and idealised photos and status updates, it's easy to get caught up in the competitive nature of "no, my family is really perfect and happy all the time, see, just look at this photo of us on the beach all smiling", while quietly erasing the 40 other non-perfect photos - instead of just enjoying the beach.

Do two things: First, spend family time every week without the smartphone camera at the ready. Second, post an imperfect photo or status update once a week. Life isn't perfect. It's wonderfully imperfect.

With fewer expectations of perfect you'll find you have more time and more headspace to simply enjoy the life you have, without the pressure to be super at everything every day.

Topics:  gabrielle morrissey, love doctor



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