- I was dating an astronaut but she broke up with me. Apparently she needed more space.
- I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
- I've got a dog called Minton. He has a habit of eating shuttlecocks. Bad Minton.
- We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
- Did you hear about the man who was arrested at the board game shop? Apparently he walked in and said he was looking for Trouble.
- What do you call an angry gorilla? Anything he wants you to.
- What did the guitar say to its strings? Stay tuned.