What to do when nappies and housework kill your sex life

IS IT possible to combine parenthood with a great sex life? Love Doctor Gabrielle Morrissey says it's every bit possible if you follow the right steps.

Q. My husband and I have two small children under the age of five and find it increasingly hard to have intimate moments together.

At times I find it impossible to feel sexy when I'm up to my neck in nappies and housework.

Is it possible to combine parenthood with a great sex life?

A .Yes, it is possible to be a parent and a lover, both, but it takes dedication, time management, and living up to agreements.

Having two small children takes up a lot of time and energy. Fatigue and lack of time are two of the greatest libido killers.

Often mothers, especially of young children, spend so much time mothering, that their individuality can get lost in the shuffle of nappies, playgroups, washing, errands, feeding … on and on.

It is not wrong to take some time out for yourself. You need to keep yourself happy and refreshed in order to have the energy to devote to your children, your family, your husband and yourself.

Your libido will increase and you and your partner then must negotiate time together alone to have sex.

Spend some time each week doing something for yourself.

Tap back into your own identity to remember who you are. Arrange childcare or make necessary compromises.

Instead of doing two hours of housework, cooking or errands, sometimes just do one, and spend the other hour napping, pampering, reading, or meeting a friend for coffee.

Once you start spending some time out for you, you'll find yourself feeling much more invigorated, even sexy.

Your libido will increase and you and your partner then must negotiate time together alone to have sex.

A good sleep the night before increases libido and results in better sex the next night.

So both of you commit to sleeping well, (even taking turns to achieve this if the kids don't sleep consistently) in order to achieve a balance of a good sex life.

You also need to commit to spending time together alone. Often couples are so overwhelmed by the monumental task of parenting that their relationship and sex life takes a back seat.

Avoid this pitfall by prioritising your sex life, making small but sustainable efforts to invest in yourself and each other and balance your parenting with your passionate life one week at a time.

Didn't find time for yourself or your partner today?

Make a double priority effort to do so tomorrow.

Baby steps!

Topics:  columns dating families sex

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