ALL my life I have been a sports fan, my earliest memory of being a sport fanatic is when for my seventh birthday I received a white cricket ball and the magazine from the 1984-1985 West Indies Tour.
Back then that ball lost its colour quickly and the corners of those pages were quickly dog eared, because every second of every day I was playing cricket or reading about the blood-curdling horror that summer was for Australian cricket.
Sport was my life.
Summer was spent emulating my cricket idols, and in winter one of my biggest concerns was to get the same number on my back as my rugby-league heroes.
Recently I have lost a lot of that passion.
And when I realised that I was sad.
My love of sport has been drained in part to age and responsibility, the rest is because I am becoming absolutely fed up with what goes on at many levels of Australia's favourite sports.
The 30-years younger version of me would never expect Allan Border - and yes I had an old Duncan Fearnley bat - or Wally Lewis to behave in any way similar to what goes on now (name withheld of the Australia Day imbecilic moron from the Roosters).
Also, I would never think the Broncos would have been involved in systematic doping if its players to gain a competitive edge.
It's not just the canine-assaulting exploits of the NRL's current number one clown, or the Bombers search for more firepower, it's many things.
Whether it's another story of unacceptable violence against a partner, drunken idiocy or a betting scandal I have become exasperated with sport.
It's not just at the top level either.
Locally too there are players who think it's okay to behave like a tool when they are pissed and out with their teammates, or take a sneaky jab to get stronger and faster.
My naivety has caught up with me and sadly the days of rushing out to buy the latest copy of Inside Sport, feeling anxiety if I missed the sport segment of local and national news, and starting a paper from the back are over for now.
I hope the passion comes back because I loved sport.
It might, or it might not. Time, and the behaviour of the players, will tell.