Flexibility is key to an understanding, loving partnership


MY BOYFRIEND recently sustained a work injury to his knee, which has left him unable to work (he's a builder) so he's moping around the house, watching television and sleeping.

I want to be supportive, but I deeply miss my space and time alone in the house and he's messing up my routine and focus.



FIRST of all, good for you for being first and foremost supportive. Or at least wanting to be. That's loving.

Put yourself in his shoes for a minute and realise perhaps he's a bit lost, and unsure what to do with his time and his limited abilities.

You're not the only one with a routine. He had one too, which involved leaving the house early to go to work as a builder.

He can't do that and so not only is his knee out of whack, but so is his identity.

Both of you are in flux, and it will take both of you to find a new way to navigate your shared space during this temporary time.

Has it been a long time since he hurt his knee?

Can he drive?

Presumably he can't walk very well.

He may feel a bit helpless and often men are not good at asking for help - it can be an uncomfortable role reversal for them.

Give him a break if it hasn't been very long since this happened.

Allow him rest and recovery time and then ask him how you can help get him out and about.

If he's not forthcoming, offer to drive him places or ask if he'd like to have friends over.

Once he reconnects with a few mates, he may want to go out with them.

Relationships change and flexibility is a key part of being in a loving, understanding partnership.

Learn to adapt now to changed circumstances so that when other changes happen, and they will, you have the skills to cope with them by talking openly and finding solutions so you both have your needs met.

It may just be that injury to your boyfriend results in strengthening your relationship in ways you never imaged before.

So okay, you're both out of routine ... use that time to learn more about how to be the best couple you can be and the most loving partner you can be to one another.

Topics:  dating relationships

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